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He seemed unaware that anything was seriously amiss. Quietly, slowly and softly I suggested that he may want to rethink his comment to me, his loving wife. “What are you talking about?” he asked as he tried to look innocent, confused, and surprised. He adapted a questioning look as though maybe he had done something that he knew was wrong, didn’t want me to know he knew he’d done something wrong, hoped I hadn’t noticed or heard him say anything wrong, and pretended he didn’t know what it could possibly be. He even tried to appear insulted that I might be offended by anything he might have said. When I told him he should not put his hand on my butt and then say, “Holy Cow,” he looked offended that I would be offended. He claimed it was just a comment in response to what he saw on the TV program that was on at the time, purely coincidental. At the time the news was on television and they weren’t talking about cows, farm animals, farms, farmers, farming, milk, beef, leather, cow bells, or anything else that such a comment would apply to.
I would have been inclined to believe him except that he was wearing his Yankee Doodle Dandy pajamas. No, that is not a joke or a misprint. These pajamas are white pants with a red and blue stripe down the outside of each leg. He usually pairs these pants with a red t-shirt. When he puts them on I never know whether to salute and sing the National Anthem or sing a few verses of I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy. It’s difficult to take someone seriously who only needs to stick a feather in his cap to complete the look.
(You can go to the music playlist at the bottom of this page and listen to both of these songs to enhance your mental picture of what this might look like.)
I realize that those of you who know me might become alarmed that I would even attempt to break out in song since I’ve never been known as much of a singer. And let’s be honest the National Anthem is a challenging song. Christina Aguilera botched it during the Super Bowl (as did our beloved Steelers), and she is a pretty good singer. But recently I have discovered my voice, just as she apparently has on the TV show, “The Voice.” I’ve even watched the YouTube video lesson on how to become a better singer by voice and singing coach, Naomi TK, at http://www.youtube.com/user/voicercise.
This past year as I’ve sung the hymns in church I’ve noticed the rest of the congregation looking at me, nodding affirmatively and smiling. Because of this lovely and positive reaction I have become more confident and comfortable vocally and I don’t think another singing lesson is really necessary at this point. Now I sing out with joy, gusto, and complete abandon. It’s encouraging to see that my voice is improving and is getting noticed with such favorable expressions of appreciation. I have even begun to contemplate making a YouTube audition video.
However, if there is another “Holy Cow” comment or reference to me, verbally or physically, from my patriotically attired spouse, he will be standing on the front porch in his Yankee Doodle Dandy pajamas ringing a cow bell while I sing to the hills and stick a feather in his cap. Or somewhere else.
