Super Glue®, Chisels and Hammers

Scott called me at work to ask me where the Super Glue® was and he would not tell me why he wanted it. My heart dropped to my feet at the thought of what all he could do with glue in his hands. As I’ve already mentioned, he is not a handyman. These little home projects usually create havoc when he attempts them. Later in the day I met him at the Mall and he was actually giddy and boasting about some home projects that he had completed.

We needed a small lumpy area near the bathroom ceiling fan sanded to be made even with the rest of the ceiling. He told me he couldn't sand the lump down. It was incredibly hard so he USED A CHISEL AND HAMMER to chip it off! I’d been worried about the glue question all day and had just relocated my heart back to its normal place in my body and was beginning to regain some sense of calmness and acceptance of what might await me when I got home. But now, as the words chisel and hammer came up, and his use of them on the bathroom ceiling seemed likely, my brain began to swell and I felt faint. I feared he might have tried to figure out on his own what these tools were for at the expense of the bathroom ceiling. I had a very disturbing vision of what I felt certain could only be a huge hole in place of the small lumpy area.

He told me he had also done some work on the refrigerator with his new tool, Super Glue®. He’d glued the little plastic stick thing between the vegetable bins back into place. I’m left to wonder if besides the little stick thing getting a glue job the bins are now glued shut and we will never be able to open them again. We’ll have to give up fresh vegetables and eat potato chips and catsup instead. They must be made from vegetables.

He’s also fixed our mailbox. The post is almost parallel to the street instead of upright so the mailman can’t reach the box from inside his truck to leave our mail. It leans so badly the mailman has to get out of the truck and squat down to the curb to put our mail in the box. He really needs a low tricycle instead of the mail truck to deliver the mail to our house. Scott had tried once before to straighten the post but he’d had no luck. Something about using shovels and hammers and tools, and well, – you probably get it.

I’m already under a lot of stress over my mom’s health, exhaustion from running to the Willows every day, keeping up with all the other everyday routines we all have, and trying to find the normal family time that I crave. Now I’m a wreck because Scott is trying to become a handyman. Oh boy.

Shockingly, it turns out that Scott has found a new friend in Super Glue® and discovered what some of the tools in his toolbox can be used for. The vegetable bins are not glued shut. He managed to glue the little plastic stick thing with perfect accuracy. The bathroom ceiling obviously needed the chisel and hammer because now it’s smooth and even with the rest of the ceiling. There’s no lumpy area anymore. All it needs is a coat of paint. And the mailbox? It’s up straight and at an almost perfect angle to the street. When he finally had it finished there was such amazement that the neighbors hi-fived each other and the mailman raised his hands to thank God for this miracle.

With his Swiffers®, Super Glue®, and chisel and hammer he’s become a force to be reckoned with.